


Insecurities Under The Covers

by FictionalFanatic



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Comfort, Confessions, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Innocent, Insecurity, Love, MC - Freeform, Main character - Freeform, POV First Person, Ray - Freeform, Romance, Saeran Choi - Freeform, Sleeping Together, hug, kiss, relationship, unknown - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-16 01:50:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14802077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FictionalFanatic/pseuds/FictionalFanatic





	Insecurities Under The Covers

Darkness falls, and the moon begins to rise while all the nocturnal animals come out of their slumber. Your 6th day spent at Mint Eye comes to a solitary end. Ray’s been busy all day you suspect. He hasn’t gotten in touch with you since his break at 3am today. It’s not even been 18 hours, but you miss him without shame. What makes things worse is the amount of phone calls to Rays phone from you that he hasn’t been able to take. Of course, each one made you worry even more that perhaps he was unwell, or there was something undesirable happening that had prevented him from picking up. Nothing of the sort would happen here while Ray’s at Mint Eye being ‘protected’… Right? To take your mind off things, you take a quick moment in the shower to relax and cool down.  
The small ensuite provided to you is more than adequate for your stay, leading you to think that Ray had placed you in a room specially for important guests. You turn on the shower head, strong jets of hot water sliding down your back and steaming up the mirror. The shampoos and body scrubs have a strong, sweet smell, like old sweets that make you feel nostalgic of candies you would’ve eaten years ago. You wash yourself over, not leaving a spec of dirt on your body or any strand of hair. A soft towel welcomes you as you step out the shower, and you wrap it snuggly around yourself.   
Your unpleasant emotions still remain ongoing after you re-enter your bedroom, and even your damp hair and cool breeze coming from one of the slightly ajar windows can’t completely relax you.  
It’s been a quiet day, and apart from talking with the RFA, there hadn’t been anybody to keep you company. Although today you’d been visited by the Savior herself and given your own key card and granted access to roam, it hadn’t made you any less lonely. If anyone was to confront you in the halls you know you would be too flustered to tell the story Ray had created. You were told to talk about having your own elixir to drink and already being an official member of Mint Eye. So instead of having your identity busted, you decided to not leave your room unless absolutely necessary. The one thing you want is to prevent causing any more trouble for Ray.  
Ray had been more than welcoming from the first second you arrived. Almost immediately Ray had formed an attraction towards you, and you towards him. Over the past few days you’ve learned many tragic things about his past and many traumas that still haunt him each passing day. The familiar tone of an email arriving catches your attention. While opening the app and responding, an unopened notification catches your eye. It’s from Ray, and immediately after checking the time it was send you feel guilty for not checking your messages. It had been sent over two hours ago, and you know he must be anxiously awaiting your reply. It reads:  
“I miss you…”  
“Uh”  
“So rry sor rrry”  
“I... I didn’t mean to send it”  
“I was going to erase it after typing it. That was stupid”  
“Sorry. I’m so sorry T-T”  
It’s not too late to reply, but by this time Ray would most likely be too wrapped up in work to notice, let alone reply.  
“I miss you too…”  
Even after replying, the guilt doesn’t subside, no matter how much you persuade yourself that you didn’t do anything bad. You trudge to the windowsill and bring one of the beautifully designed armchairs over with you. The moon shines so bright it’s visible through the blinds, and it prevents your room from being cast into complete darkness, even while the night is at its most intense. The owls hoot from their homely trees directly outside your window, and crickets can be heard while the birds respectively quieten down. You remove the small cushion from the seat and hug it tight, trying to squeeze out the affection that today has voided. Before sitting down, you fully open the blinds, the moon and stars providing light for the room and filling it with an eerily cosy atmosphere. Next you open the windows. The glass pane swings outwards, narrowly missing one of the closer trees, and you sit down on the armchair, still embracing the pastel pink pillow.  
No matter how hard you try to distract yourself, your thoughts eventually drift back to Ray and what he’s doing. The near silence of the night brings inspiration along on a gust of wind, with one of your favourite songs floating with it. Although there’s no music, the lyrics and tune repeat over and over, until it becomes almost torture to keep it inside your head to yourself.  
“I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy.  
I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need.  
I love you more with every breath, truly madly deeply do  
I will be strong, I will be faithful 'cause I'm counting on a new beginning.  
A reason for living. A deeper meaning.”  
All of your emotions leak into the meaning of each word, and indirectly, you tribute it to Ray. The lines of the song one by one are carried out the window and into the night, falling somewhere between the flowers of the garden and being carried amidst another breeze. You continue humming the song, occasionally throwing in the few words you remember from the chorus. Everything sounds so gentle, is it just your imagination, or does the world grow quiet once you start singing? Surely not, but the flowers seem to glow their own vibrant colours too… Whatever’s happening outside, the emotions you were able to let out, rush back as soon as you stop singing. Solitude returns. This cushion simply doesn’t return the love you hug into it.  
You turn on your phone to open your last resort. Everything sounds sentimental while the night is dark, especially yours and Rays chat from very early this morning. The familiar menu music interrupts your hums, so you turn down the volume on your phone, and the volume from your mouth completely so you can enjoy once again, the music of night-time nature. You enter the old chatroom.

“MC… You’re logged in at this hour…?”  
“I thought you might be awake…!”  
“You were waiting for me? I’m so happy… I really am…! I feel alive”  
Just the joy you give Ray by talking to him fills you heart to the brim with warm emotions. And knowing this, there’s no way that Ray would purposely not answer your calls unless if he was forced to.  
“I thought everything I do will end up being ruined, but if there’s one thing I really did well it’s that I got to meet you… Oops… My saviour told me that I must control myself… Since you’re too charming for me…” You watch the messages continue to pop up, and you lower the chat speed so you can read the full message before the next one appears. One of your messages appear shortly after, a distinctly different colour from Rays.   
“I don’t think you have to deny such a natural feeling”  
“…Really? I…I’m starting to like you more and more… Is it okay to keep doing that?” He questioned. You can detect the shy tone of his voice just by the punctuation and message decorations that he uses.  
“I wish we could take a nap together… Read together… Look after pretty flowers together… I feel so happy just imagining it… Anyways, I’m… so glad”  
It’s only been over the past day that Ray has started to become comfortable telling you his desires, but everything he wishes for are like those of a child’s. Cute, and pure, just like him.  
“I’ll be so happy if I could one day be recognised at this place and be more recognised by you! Pain in my life keeps repeating because I’m weak… And there’s nothing I can do about it… Since I was born like this… I can’t even see you… So, I was feeling a bit frustrated… Seriously…”  
“You might have a hard time right now, but things will get better soon. I hope you’d consider that I’m there with you.” Your words of comfort remind him of his worth, and that his lows will eventually heighten with you and your support.  
“MC, your words are so happy and sweet. When I listen to you I think I can do anything. I want to stay with you… Ah! I lost control of my imagination… Again… I should log out before I start typing something weird, like an airhead”  
“Please, stay with me just a little more…” Your request sounds like more of a plea, the emotions felt at the time much less than what they’ve amounted to now.   
“…I won’t get in trouble, will I? My Savior wouldn’t know if I stay longer, will she...? Oh! Before I go, there’s this picture I want to show you. Take a look at this. This flower is called lily of the valley, and the language of the flower behind it is promise of happiness”  
“Yes, I’m sure we’ll be happy!” Your heart also wants it, the promise of being joyful, alone or with the person you wish to spend much more time with.   
“I will make it through this day as well. Because you’re here, and you’re happier than me. Thank you for staying here… Thank you for putting your faith in me. Thank you for helping me make it through this. Thank you… MC. Oh… The notification’s in… I should really go now. I really wish you’ll be happy in your dreams. I’ll pray with all my heart…”  
“I hope you get some rest too…” Recently learning of Rays lack of self-care, instead of praying for your happiness, you wish for Rays health. The thing that pains you the most is knowing Ray lacks adequate sleep and nutrition, and that he could become sick if he becomes any less careful.   
“Yes. I hope one day. I get to hold your hand and take a nap together… Sweet dreams, my MC.”  
The sweetness of his old messages makes you giggle. It’s just a shame that they were the most recent messages, even though it was over 12 hours ago… Another wave of seclusion hits you once you remember. Even while reading those messages that same song refused to leave your head. You move to the bed and search underneath the pillows for your set of pyjamas. As your hands search without your eyes to guide them, it takes a while to find the silky feel of the lilac pyjama set. Your towel drops onto the side of the bed and you slip the clothing on. Picking up the damp towel, you begin drying your hair until it ceases to drip. Although your hair is messy and unkempt, you’re comfortable and ready for bed. The towel is then placed back on the rack in the bathroom to dry for the next time you go to use it. More words drift into your head as you head back towards the window, and instead of fighting the song, you carry on and sing another verse to attempt and release the emotions that have built back up.  
“And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky,  
I'll make a wish, send it to heaven, then make you want to cry  
The tears of joy for all the pleasure and the certainty.  
That we're surrounded by the comfort and protection of  
The highest power, in lonely hours, the tears devour you.”  
You look to the sky, observing the stars while you sing softly, but it isn’t until you finish that you notice the owls all stopped hooting in unison, making the outside world seem a lot more empty and dark than what it used to. Each word holds its own meaning, and your soft voice coaxes out the acoustics of the song, making it sound so much more emotional without the instruments. The deep colour of the garden and the sudden lack of sound creates an unnerving, dark feeling, almost as if there was something to anticipate. The flowers shy away, their colours and open petals hiding from you, perhaps sad that they are no longer hearing anymore music.  
A quiet knock echoes against the walls and breaks the eerie silence, almost so silent you doubt whether it was real or just your imagination playing tricks. You jolt upwards from your seat at the windowpane and glance around your room. The bed sheets and pillows are ruffled and unorganised, while the wind blows the curtains so forcefully they’re almost hanging only by their hinges. While walking to the door you throw the pillows to the top of the bed, only to uncover the few pieces of clothing you brought with you to this place. You pick them up and push them under the bed, somewhere that nobody will see them. Inching towards the door, your pulse quickens. It had been so long since anybody had knocked on your bedroom door, that the possibilities of who could be outside is a chilling thought. Your hand rests on the doorhandle, it’s not until you see your hand shaking that you realise how nervous you really are. Slowly, you force your muscles to twist the knob and open the door slowly enough to peek outside, and cautiously enough to slam it shut if the situation calls for it. Immediately, all your nerve endings are on high alert. Whoever stands in the hallway is well disguised by the lack of lighting. The door creaks open, the hinges grinding against each other. Looking the figure up and down, they wear dark clothing, but what catches your attention is the contrast of their light hair. There’s only one person you know with that shade of hair, and you whisper out to them.   
“Ray…?”  
“MC…?” You both question each other’s names in the darkness.  
You forget about the dangers you were worried about only moments before and open the door as wide as it’ll possibly go. Although your hands have ceased their shaking, your pulse quickens so much more.  
“I-I’m glad you’re awake…” Ray murmurs with his head down, the lack of brightness in the hallway completely masking his face and emotions.  
“Please come in...! This is such a surprise…” You usher him in, expecting him to follow. Instead he stands there and lifts his head up.  
“I can go if you don’t want me here...! I just came to… to say goodnight…” His expression solemn, the beams of moonlight from the open windows catch on his thin face and cast deep shadows below his cheekbones.  
“No!! No… I’m glad you’re here… I missed you…a lot...” Without thinking you lightly grab his arm and lightly pull him inside. He follows you without complaint, but still looks sheepish and hangs his head.  
“Are you okay…? You look exhausted...” He looks up to you and you meet each other’s eyes. Bags as dark and swollen as small plums are present under his eyes. It’s clear he hasn’t rested in over a day, and it makes your heart ache tremendously.  
“I am a little tired, but t-that’s why I’m here… W-well, after I say goodnight, I-I mean.”  
You look at him and his eyes reflect your face. They seem almost hollow. Maybe it’s because you were only looking at it recently, but the chatroom from early this morning drifts into your head.  
‘I hope one day… I’d get to hold your hand and take a nap together…’ His words echo in your head. Is today that ‘one day’  
“Ray… Do you want to… Stay here tonight…?” He blushed and averts his eyes to the floor.  
“C-can I nap in here with… y-you tonight…? Is that really okay? I worked really hard today I promise…! I worked so hard that I haven’t eaten… I wanted to get everything done so I could come to you… J-just in case you asked.” Just the thought of Ray forcing himself to skip through all his meals and time to relax to come see you makes your eyes water.  
“Ray-” You get interrupted.  
“I honestly did my best! I know I’m an airhead, so I triple checked that I did everything right! I even created safety measures to ensure nobody could break in while I’m away… But… if you want me to leave I will…” He whispers the last part, clearly hoping that you’ll object.  
“N-no! Ray… I’ve missed you, and I’ve been a tiny bit lonely and sad, but because I know you haven’t been taking care of yourself I’m getting even more upset... I’d much rather be lonely than have you suffer…”  
“I’m so sorry… I’m made you sad again, when all I want is for you to be happy.” He begins to get angry, upset at himself while he clenches his fists by his side, before bringing them behind his back.  
“I-I think… I think I needed to see you tonight. I promise I’m not being arrogant, I’m sorry, but if I didn’t see you today… I don’t think I would’ve been able to work tomorrow. I’ve seen you now, so if you want me to get back to work I will.” Taking a step backwards he inches closer to the door, ready to leave per your wish.  
“Stay here… please… Now you’re here, I can’t tell you to go away. That would probably make me cry…” You admit with a half-hearted giggle.  
“N-No!” He suddenly steps forwards as if to protect you from an external force.  
“I remember what you said this morning… and if you’re sure that’s what you want, I’m fine with you sleeping in here tonight. You can stay with me...” You’ve begun to think it’s clear to Ray that you have feelings towards him, but whether he understands it himself is a completely different condition. Each time he resorts to calling himself awful names, you’re always there to reassure him and beg him to think more highly of himself. No matter what you say, or how many times you say it, he mentally can’t stop putting himself down, perhaps it’s so normal for him that it’s become an unbreakable habit. Maybe it’s something you’d have to prove to him physically.  
“H-holding hands…?” Ray blushes profusely, and you nod slowly, turning both of your faces to a deep crimson. He must be thinking the same as you.   
“You really do look like you’re at your limit… Are you ready to go to bed now? Or would you like to stay up a little longer.” You question, already in your pyjamas and your hair only slightly damp. Looking Ray up and down in the light, he wears a long sleeved grey sweater, and decent length shorts, revealing his ghostly white skin. Almost like a delicacy, your eyes are drawn to the pieces of skin that you’ve never seen before, like the part around his collar bone that dips when he swivels his head.  
“I-I don’t know… I want to talk to you more before w-we… sleep…” He admits, the fact that you’ll be sleeping together, in the one bed in the same room, finally sinking in.  
Me too… I want to tell you so much, and I want to talk about you too! I already know I like you… but I want to know about you… Like your favourite foods, or colours, or what animals you li-”  
“Y-yes!! Sorry… I cut you off…” He takes another step closer.  
“B-but I want to know you too. You make me… so happy.” Ray interrupts, but clearly, he can’t help himself, so you forgive him. Especially if it makes him happy, which is your top priority.  
“You can get into bed now if you’d like. I just need to brush my teeth and I’ll jump in too.” You smile sweetly and turn to walk towards the bathroom.  
OK, hurry back…” Ray moves towards the bed after multiple moments of staring at it, and he gently places himself on the side of the duvet. It’s not long until your teeth are clean and mouth minty fresh, so you walk underneath the bathroom doorframe to see Ray occupying your bed.  
“Do you want anything? I’m going to get a glass of water, would you also like one? I could probably get some food too if you’re hungry?” Ray shakes his head.  
“No, I’m fine thank you. I won’t be a nuisance…” He shuffles along the bed and towards the pillows until he notices a bump under the covers and pulls it back to investigate. You fill your glass nearby and return to your bed to put it down. There, you see Ray holding up one of your most prised possessions, and something that you brought with you to Magenta. It’s a small ginger stuffed cat, it’s fur dull and overall very well-loved.  
“A-ah…” You gasp as he holds up one of the matted paws, revealing its once white underbelly.  
“Is this yours…? I’ve never seen any of the rooms decorated with stuffed animals before.” He inspects it once more.  
“Yeah… I brought him from home. I feel really pathetic saying this but… I feel safe anywhere if he’s with me. It’s really important to me… It’s just coincidence that I brought it out that day to get him cleaned” You reveal, a smile on your lips at how funny you look.  
“I can’t stand being completely alone at night…” You whisper, mostly to yourself, ashamed. Instantly Ray puts down the cat next to the pillows and stands up. He walks towards you, the sudden thickness of the air making his footsteps seem slower. You feel exposed, one of your most self-depreciating secrets revealed. Your senses heighten, and you can feel Rays presence even from across the room.  
“Me too… I can’t sleep without having nightmares, so I don’t sleep. Not if I can help it. Maybe it’d be different if I wasn’t on my own…” You look up, shocked, but not oblivious to the fact that it’s something that bothers Ray. Your eyes meet, and both pairs tell a different story.  
“L-lets go to bed now…” You suggest. Ray simply nods and walks back round to the other side of the bed. After connecting over such a personal feat, your relationship undoubtedly becomes closer, but the atmosphere still awkward. You lower the sheets, and crawl onto the mattress.   
After sitting comfortably, you hold out your hand for Ray to grab onto. His face transforms to another dark shade before he climbs up and takes your petite hand in his shaking one. As his weight is distributed onto the mattress, an indentation is formed around him, creating a slight slope that pulls you further towards him. Ray takes a moment to evaluate the feel of having your warm, slender fingers in his palm, until you position your fingers to overlap his, which sends his mind into overdrive. Together, your fingers intertwine, and you pull the covers back over your legs, prompting Ray to lie down on his side, facing you. It takes multiple minutes for your heartbeat alone to calm down, and by the look of Rays face in the darkness, his temperature seems to have plunged to its usual state.  
“What were your nightmares about...?” You’re aware that this must be a touchy subject, so you ease into it, the closeness of your bodies providing a safe and secure environment for you to talk, keeping out the rest of the world.  
“It’s perfectly okay if you aren’t comfortable sharing it. I’m not pushing you into anything, so please don’t feel forced.” You show him another unique smile, one meant for Ray in this moment alone.  
“N-no... I’m okay talking about it... since I’m with you...” he musters up his courage and unconsciously holds your hand tighter.  
“It’s about my mother... while I was young and lived with her she never praised me or my twin brother. Me especially. I dream about her calling and shouting at me, sometimes physically hurting me... I-it feels too real sometimes that when I wake up I have to remind myself that I’m safe here in Mint Eye now...” He buries his body further under the thick duvet, now covering him up to his chin. You use the fingers on the hand Ray is holding to massage the back of his hand, comforting him in a way he’s never experienced before. Ray shuts his eyes momentarily, and you can feel his pulse rise through the rush of blood pumping through his wrist and palm.  
“What about you...? Why do you find it hard to be alone? Y-you don’t have to answer me either! I don’t need you to tell me if you’re not comfortable...”  
“O-oh... I don’t think I’ve been in a situation in any way similar to yours, but I really hate being alone. It’s nothing serious, but I tend to have attachment issues... if I’m alone for too long I shut myself away... The more I lack social activities the more I try to avoid it. Eventually I just feel totally isolated from the world and I just become… depressed... Somehow, even having a stuffed animal stops me from feeling so alone.” You join Ray under the covers, the distance between you unnecessarily empty.  
“I’m so sorry... if I’d have known I would’ve visited you so much more!” He apologises for something he can’t control, which urges you to shuffle towards and console him. Instead of welcoming the closeness, Rays inches back while his eyes widen slightly.  
“Please don’t apologise. It’s not your fault I feel the way I do...” You stop moving, easing Rays nerves. You can tell Ray isn’t used to physical closeness, and that you make him even more jittery, but your own feelings aren’t allowing you to keep the distance between you so large.  
“Sor- ah... I can’t help it. I just don’t want you ever to feel sad... if I could, I’d take away all your loneliness and bad feelings, so that you’d always be happy. You’re such a pure person. You don’t deserve to ever be in pain.” You feel the bed dip even further, but Ray is the one that moves. Ever so slightly, he creeps back towards you, regaining the lost space.  
“Neither do you Ray. I... want to protect you. Just like you do for me. I don’t know very much, but I do know you haven’t had a pleasant past... I want you to share that pain with me, so we can get through this together and both be happy. You deserve all the joy in the world after what you’ve been through.” You voice pleas and beckons him, your hands clenching under the covers and your bottom lip beginning to quiver due to the sheer kind-heartedness that you’d never been shown before.  
“You’re too nice... I deserved to be put through that pain. All because I wasn’t good enough. I’m still weak, so I know I’m not good enough to be happy yet, b-but... when I talk to you my heart feels warm. I shouldn’t be allowed to feel this way, I need to work harder, but-”  
“Ray” You interrupt him, his wandering eyes meeting yours once again, and his forgiving hair falling over one eye. “Please… Please stop. I… I hate it when you put yourself down. You mean so very much to me… And it hurts when you say you’re not good enough.” The same hand that clenched the duvet makes its way out from the heated inside and moves to brush the hair away from Rays eyes. “Because to me, you are… faultless” You murmur the last part, immediately hoping Ray didn’t hear you, but by the surprised look on his red face, you were loud enough for him to notice and react. His mouth is agape, and his eyebrows are raised in what is either shock or disbelief, whereas the pupils of his eyes widen, focused solely on you.  
“A-ah! Sorry, is that too close?” You bring your hand back, wiping your hand over your forehead, trying to cover your embarrassment.  
“No.” Ray moves, and you peek out from underneath your palm, but your vision is blocked by another hand. Rough calloused fingers grasp onto your own and pull them away from your face, placing them back on his head where they were before.  
“I-I… I’m not good with compliments, but I feel like you really mean it. And… I like you… a lot. I like you so much, I don’t think you could even know.” Your fingers entwine with his hair, the highlights of fading pink more prominent in the dark. You lie in silence for a few moments, massaging Rays scalp ever so slowly.   
“Can I move closer... to you? Please tell me if it makes you uncomfortable.” You ask, your fingers gliding down from his hair to underneath his ear, resting against his defined jawline.  
“N-no, you don’t ever make me uncomfortable. Never ever. But, if you get closer, can I... h-hug you?” While your heart and body feels warm, you shiver, an unusual reaction to the loving embrace you’ve been craving. You nod, and watch as Ray shyly opens his arms, waiting for you to move and cuddle inside. He squeezes his eyes shut once you make contact, but you stretch out your arms to wrap around his middle, while his rest against the dip of your waist. Ray lets out the deep breath that accumulated while you moved closer together.   
“You’re so warm... I feel like if I go to sleep then time will pass quicker, and we’ll have to separate sooner.” You nuzzle your face against Rays chest while you speak, the fleecy material of his jumper soothing on your cheek. 

“Then... let’s not separate. I like this... being here with you, but... I want to be more of a man towards you. Maybe if I’m more masculine you won’t leave me. I want to be strong so we can be together... D-do you want to stay with m-me? You won’t leave?”   
“Of course Ray, I want to stay like this, happy and warm together. I-” You suddenly realise that through all Ray’s heart melting confessions you’d never verbally confirmed your own feelings.  
“I... want to be with you Ray, I swear I do… But please remember, I like you. Not the person you’re trying to be, but the person you are now. I don’t want you to change to try and impress me, because you already have. Through your generous and devoted heart” You move backwards and give yourself room to look up at Ray’s face.  
“You’re the sweetest, kindest person I’ve ever met, and you take care of me better than I can take care of myself. That’s all I could ever ask for, and it means so much to me.” Ray takes one hand from behind your back and uses it to cover his face. His body quivers around you, and it’s not until he lets out a small sniff that you realise he’s teared up. His mouth is curved up in a smile, but the creases above his eyebrows suggest otherwise.  
“Did I say too much? Ray, are you okay? I’m sorry…” You take your other arm from underneath Ray’s body, and curve both your hands around his cheeks, massaging the supple skin underneath his eyes, and wiping away any stray tears.  
“N-no… Please don’t apologise.” He whimpers between sniffles. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt so happy. I don’t know why I’m crying… They just won’t stop.” Even though his tears are happy, the sound of Ray’s silent weeps are distressing, bringing you to tears also. The sound of a pretty melody re-enters your head, the same song you’d been singing earlier.   
‘The tears of joy for all the pleasure and the certainty.’   
While you had been having trouble remembering the chorus, each and every word somehow revives in your head, the tune begging to be sung.  
“I want to stand with you on a mountain,  
I want to bathe with you in the sea.  
I want to lay like this forever,  
Until the sky falls down on me”  
Rays shuddering stops the more you sing, and towards the last few words, he wraps his arms back around you and holds you tighter than before. His head rests on your shoulder, one ear almost right next to your mouth, taking in as much of your song as possible. You wrap your arms around his neck, also holding him close. Once you finish, you release, and Ray brings his head back up to be level with yours.  
“Your voice is so beautiful… Can you sing another one? I-if you don’t mind” You smile at him, heat rising to your face, and he smiles back, eyes puffy, filling your heart to the brim with warmth.  
“I-uh… can’t think of any other songs off the top of my head, but I can sing the rest of this one?” You offer. Ray takes one of your hands from his face, and holds it in both of his. Ray nods, and you close your eyes, shyness preventing you from looking out at Rays eyes looking back.  
“Oh can you see it baby?  
You don't have to close your eyes  
'Cause it's standing right before you.  
All that you need will surely come”  
You whisper the tune, the quietness making the song seem much more personal and sensual. Your almost noiseless voice reduces to a hum, singing the outro of the song, before opening your eyes to Rays adoring smile.  
“I heard somebody singing on my way up here, but I honestly thought it was my imagination since I’d never heard anything so lovely. Then I saw you through the window downstairs. Seeing you singing to the garden… and the garden looking back at you, it made you look like a princess. Royalty of the night.”  
“Then… would you be my prince?” The sudden request shocks you both, but you don’t take it back. Instead, you look at Ray with wide eyes, waiting for an answer.   
“I-I… I’m not good enough to be your prince, you shine too bright for someone as dull as me, but-”  
“Ray…” You interrupt his belittling comments. “Please don’t see me as any less equal to you. If you see me as a princess, you’re my prince, and I can’t verbalise how special that makes you to me. If you’ve always considered yourself so lowly, it’ll be hard to break the habit and think otherwise, but I swear that you deserve more than what’s provided here.” You bring your hands back to his cheeks, savouring the warmth his embarrassed face radiates. One of his hands sits atop yours, while the other still presses against the small of your back, holding your bodies together. You begin winding your clothed legs in between his exposed ones, and Ray welcomes the newfound comfort by entwining his fingers with yours instead. By now, multiple pieces of your body are combined, and the thought alone amplifies your emotions and makes you tense. You can feel Rays hands doing the same, the tightness around your fingers oddly welcome. The heat that his face produces multiplies, and his free arm pulls you closer.  
“You should see beautiful fields of new, rare flowers, learn so much more about the world, but most of all… I want us to do it together. It’s nice here at Mint Eye, but the rest of the world is even more beautiful. There are so many sights to see, so many things to learn about. I want you to experience them all… and be happy. Not because an elixir has told you so, but because you’re genuinely enjoying life.” Ray’s eyes water after listening to your words, closing his eyes to prevent any teardrops from falling. He rests his chin on your shoulder and whispers.  
“That’s exactly what I want. I want to see sunsets and beaches, experience real happiness, and… to feel free.” He brings his face back.  
“I’m scared… There’s a lot of pain in the world, but if I’m with you… I think I can do it. Savior has helped me live after I first came here with her, so I don’t know how to tell her I want to leave, but ever since I met you… I’ve want to know what the world is like. I want to know how you live, I want to live like you...” The hand that holds your own pulls away, and inches consciously towards your hair. Completely dry now, Ray holds a few tresses between two fingers and rolls the fresh and lax texture until it curls around to his knuckle. His fingers let go, and instead an entire hand weaves its way to your scalp, capturing thousands of individual strands. The smell of the sweet shampoo finds its way into your nostrils, the scent almost sickeningly sweet, similar to Ray’s confession.  
“After I met you, the elixir I’m supposed to take has stopped working. Instead of making me feel pleasure it only brings me pain... I don’t want to use these artificial medicines to save me, I don’t want to be in agony anymore. These chemicals have hurt me, a lot, but the only time I don’t feel in pain anymore… Is with you.” Your arm wraps around Rays neck, and he pulls slightly on your hair and you look up to him. His smile is etched with sadness, even though he talks about his change and growth. Your eyes make no attempts to wander, and you look straight into his, providing him with your presence and support. Studying Rays orbs, the unusual green captivates you, the rings of different hues acting almost hypnotising. Seeing the odd specs of colour that you’ve looked at so many times before gives you a feeling of comfort, reminding you of every other memorable time you’ve spent together looking into his eyes.  
“I don’t need my elixir with you, you take away all my pain and unhappiness. You relieve me from the one feeling that has kept me alive. You are my relief. But if you became my new elixir...” something glimmers in his eyes, taking you by surprise. It’s a difficult emotion to decipher, but it burns deep in Rays pupils, disappearing in the same split second that it appeared.   
I bet you’d taste much sweeter...” His voice deteriorates to a whisper towards the end of his sentences, his face still only inches from yours. He spares a quick glance to your lips, a movement still noticeable enough for you to pick up on. Hearing Rays opinion on how sweet you would taste ignites a flame deep in your stomach, a hunger rising for more physical attention. A connection between more than your legs and fingers.   
Without thinking, the arms around Rays neck tighten, pulling you closer to his face, if possible, before your lips touch in a fragile kiss.   
Ray doesn’t pull away, but his eyes widen in shock and his hands clench at what’s around them, one hand accidentally scrunching up your pyjama shirt, revealing your navel. The slight exposure enhances your senses, and you pull your face back, taking one hand from Rays neck to reorganise your shirt, while the other set of fingers get tangled in his pale hair. You stare at each other, and your lips upturn in a bashful smile. Ray looks away, but not before you catch a glimpse of a grin underneath his bangs.   
“W-was it sweet?” The fingers touching Rays hair move to his fringe, brushing it out the way to welcome the return of a cherry red tomato face.  
“Y-yeah… Super sweet…” Rays hand slowly raises from your waist to behind your ear, while the other slides underneath your opposite side, between your torso and the mattress. Rays hand massages his thumb into your cheek, the other fingers still behind your ear touching more of your silky locks. The hand on your back takes a dip downwards and catches the hem of your pyjama top, sneakily sliding underneath, fingers now touching bare skin. This makes you gasp, Rays still slightly chilled fingers causing you to arch your back and push your chest back onto Rays body after you pulled apart. You blush at your unconscious movements, but Ray simply smiles sweetly, also red faced. He evidently knows the reaction he’s aiming to gain, and is becoming cheekier when attempting to gain them.  
“Like sugar, it’s so-” He begins, but his hands move before he finished his sentence. The hand behind your ear holds the back of your head and pushes you towards Ray, and you happily squeeze your eyes shut, comply and follow it. The force of Rays hand is rather strong, pulling you quicker than you expect.   
Your lips meet again, undirected by yourself, and slightly more feverish. The surprise makes you gasp again, slightly louder and more vigorous, even though the sound reverberates through your mouth into Rays. Your hands cup Ray’s cheeks, gently pulling him closer and preventing him from pulling away impulsively. Ray makes a nasally distinct sound, his arms tightening further, not allowing you to escape either. The caress only lasts a short amount longer than the one merely seconds ago, but the small sensory variations make it seem much longer and anticipated. More than just touching lips, this kiss feels more like a tingle that starts from your head, and follows down to your feet. You feel Ray shiver violently next to you, experiencing the same feeling. Somehow, you pull away simultaneously and open your eyes together, making the connection stronger.  
“Addictive…” Ray admits, and you nod, a shy smile confirming it. You rest your forehead against Rays, and a soft sigh escapes his lips. For such a late time at night, you’re surprised that you’re both still awake.   
Ray shuts his eyes, quickly drifting to sleep, and you copy him, still tightly huddled together.   
“Whenever I see you, I feel like I’m somebody. I’ve never wanted anything more than I want you to like me. You’re my-” Clearly exhausted, Ray yawns. “…My motivation. It’s only ever in my dreams that I imagine being with you… going out for picnics, holding hands and making lovely k-kisses… But tonight… everything I’ve ever dreamed about and more has come true…” His eyes open slightly, looking you in the face and smiling before they drift back shut, almost asleep.   
“Hehe… I apologise if I got a little bit… mischievous. I didn’t think, and I just acted the way that the… Real me… wanted to act.”  
You sink into the bed, taking your forehead away from Rays, and using his chest as a pillow instead. You feel Ray rest against your shoulder, and the hand that caressed your face falls to his side. You take that hand in your own, and cuddle Ray with your free arm.   
“It was a surprise, but I liked it a lot. If you’re feeling secure enough to act as you true self around me… I’d be honoured to help take your pain.” Your words slur, your brain shutting down in exhaustion, but not before Ray hums.   
“I’m… already happy… now, with you.” Signifying he heard you. His chest vibrates with the sound, and you nuzzle further into his soft jumper.   
He doesn’t protest, and you hear one last sigh before Ray falls asleep, still encasing you with his body heat.   
It’s not long before you follow Ray into the world of dreams, gratified with a warm heart and content soul.


End file.
